Wednesday, June 01, 2005

hmm. last new post before this one was a month ago. At least at this rate, I can't be accused of being spammy.

Still trying to decide about grad school. Getting more and more interested in the MARCO program at zee University of Tennessee, and in the University of Florida's medieval/early modern Europe program (which still seems to have some associate profs interested in subjects that'd be helpful, and it's closer, which may not be bad for family reasons), and in Western Michigan's medieval institute (active and conference-hosting and respected, etc., from all I can find, but.. Michigan. brrrr.), and in UIUC (same, and rather more interesting than W. Mich., but still eek), and in Emory for the history and public health grad programs... (not that I'm interested in the public health part, so much, since they're more focused on modern times, but it might be a definite boost if I decide to keep doing something generally connected to the thesis of plaguey doom. And because I've been interested in Emory for a long time). I'm not sure how the range of where those schools are located worked out, since I was toying with the idea of just focusing on schools that would be, well, warmer. still might.

Either way, I want to start trying to learn Latin, since it looks like I'll need it, at this rate. Maybe German, too. Can't get excited at the idea of learning French, anyway... and I don't know that I'd have much more luck trying to learn a little more Spanish on my own than I ever learned in classes. Must find some helpful books.

But it's not as though I'm sure I'd get accepted/offered support at any of those schools. Can't tell how much gpa matters/doesn't matter... and I'd like to think that general grad-school readiness as assessed in recommendations and personality-matching and general goals and research interests and such would mean it's not a problem to apply without having a 4.0 (not that I'm terribly far from that, I guess), but... well, when it's $100 easily for most applications, and I don't really know what I want to study yet, or even a list of a few closely or loosely related topics, so I'm worried about the idea of even asking zee thesis advisors for their suggestions... rather hard to swagger around saying I'm sure that any program that wouldn't accept me is just full of lunatics.

I want to go on for grad school; I've known that for years. It was rather disturbing to always get a response such as "oh, are you really sure? and are you sure about still studying history? you could always do other things..." from zee main advisor. couldn't quite decide if he meant it positively, i.e., if he thought I shouldn't limit myself too much because I could surely develop some odd combination-field that made perfect sense (or something similar), or if he meant it not-so-positively. :p I just don't quite know where or in what field... and I don't know that I should even bother, since I'll probably have to quit and manage to take care of my parents before I'm halfway through anyway, since I'm closer... and hell, it doesn't seem likely that I'd get to study where I'd like to, anyway. echoes of picking a college back in high school all over again, with how that worked out. though it'll matter more, ultimately, with grad school, if I end up at a state school with a not-good program and can't move on, after.