frustration and tiredness and a little envy.

is it a waste of time to look at a program mostly because I'd sorta longed to go to that school for undergrad time but it was always far too expensive so it seemed impossible then?

at least I can't do the same thing for the school I'd really wanted to go to for most of senior year, before realizing it wouldn't happen unless I was willing to start going into debt pretty badly... they don't offer an advanced degree other than an MBA.

I'm still interested in programs that'd focus on early modern Europe and ties to other nations, or just early modern/late medieval Europe, and the few that focus on science/tech/medicine in history are usually the most interesting, but I can't decide if that'd end up being considered too limited or something for teaching later.. and museum/public history programs are also interesting. and I don't know that there's anyone who could seriously predict that, since I'm sure that passing the general exam requirements for most programs would require enough range to be okay for most surveys, and TAdom or related things would help, too (at least for being a little more relaxed for official-speaking-purposes)...

most of the programs I'm thinking of are still physically in the south. would also sorta help if I had some more direct experience in dealing with steady cold and snow, already, to know if that'd just be extremely hard for me to get used to or not... if only I could visit a few people very soon to check that, as just an extra little bonus for the visit :p

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for a long time, the new year mostly sank in for me when classes started, again. feels so strange to not have that as a marker, this time. I miss it sharply.

In the year 2005 I resolve to: Become one with my inner sociopath. Get your resolution here